“Don’t you have any other friends?” I said yes. They saw me fall into Arleen’s arms after a brutal race. So did other members of my family, concerned about me. She was a round, cozy Latina, happy as a Buddha. Arleen didn’t care what they said about me. I was known as The Girl Who Lived In The House Where the Ambulance Came or simply Ambulance Girl. For the first time in my life, I did not live in my own house. I skateboarded to my job working nights at Burger King to pay the rent. He told me I could take whatever I could fit into one suitcase. My mother told me he was sorry and he promised he would never do it again. When she returned home she had a shaved head with stitches crisscrossing like railroad tracks. The blood spurted out of her like water from a drinking fountain - straight up, then cascading down all over the floor. When I was 16, my stepfather took a rotary dial telephone in his right hand, held my mother down with his left hand and bashed her repeatedly over the head.
Chicken thoughts meme my ex how to#
He bought me every tacky souvenir I wanted, taught me how to use his CB radio and he never had one drink. He knew the names of all the waitresses at truck stops.
Cocooned inside the top of his cab, I watched the world go by as we passed tall green trees and crossed state lines. I was the oldest child and something had to give.
When I was 15, my stepfather took me on a road trip. She looked down, at her bare feet, and stayed very still. Was it from his actions, the word he used - or both? Then he laughed heartily, breaking the spell. He told the men in Bermuda shorts and sandals, “See this? This is my cunt - You boys stay away from it.”Īn uncomfortable silence. He put his large hand over her vagina, twisting her bathing suit bottoms in his hand, wriggling for the right fit, like fingers in a bowling ball. Then my new stepfather pulled my mother onto his lap. He sang the loudest as I blew out the candles on my birthday cake. Men liked his sense of humor, bold and crass. Even though it was my birthday, the charismatic stepfather was the center of attention. I was a brand new teenager and he was a brand new stepfather. When I turned 13 years old, I learned the “other” is not always on the outside of the door. I let him believe it was safe to speak to me that way. He didn’t want to just re-key the locks I had. He reached into his worn leather bag and withdrew a heavy deadbolt.
Chicken thoughts meme my ex skin#
His skin white, his belly thick, his hands bruised and scarred. If I stood on my tiptoes, carefully leaned over the wooden dish rack with mismatched dishes and looked out my tiny kitchen window, I could see the Mississippi River.Īs the locksmith worked in the open doorway, the trilling chords of the calliope from a steamboat clung to the cold river air and crossed the threshold, drifting inside, chilling the room.The word had been given no special weight among the rest.
Below me was a lush courtyard where weddings took place. The place was the size of a postage stamp but it was all mine and it had an extraordinary view. I’d hired a neighborhood locksmith to re-key the locks. Fifteen years ago, I was moving into my third-floor condo in the French Quarter of New Orleans, Louisiana. I’ll make sure to use a good, strong lock to keep the niggers out.”
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